I Was Your Age Twice - Whining

Why

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 16:07:01 -0600

Can they figger out how the light turns on but never seem to be able to figger out how to turn it off.?

They can figger out how a door opens but never know how to shut it all the way.

They change clothes three or four times a day but never do a load of laundry.

Another Inconvenient Truth

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 18:11:22 -0600

Alternate title: "The Emperor Has No Sweater"

I heard a trucker ranting on the CB this week about former Vice President Al Gore's electric bill. When I started asking him about it, he said Gore's bill "was something like $20,000 a year." I started laughing and said bullshit. Nobody has a $20,000/year electric bill, right? Gore's fighting to reverse the effects of global warming, right? Turns out I owe that driver an apology. It was $29,268 for 2006.

Back home in Tennessee, safely ensconced in his suburban Nashville home, Vice President Al Gore is no doubt basking in the Oscar awarded to "An Inconvenient Truth," the documentary he inspired and in which he starred. But a local free-market think tank is trying to make that very home emblematic of what it deems Gore's environmental hypocrisy.

Armed with Gore's utility bills for the last two years, the Tennessee Center for Policy Research charged Monday that the gas and electric bills for the former vice president's 20-room home and pool house devoured nearly 221,000 kilowatt-hours in 2006, more than 20 times the national average of 10,656 kilowatt-hours.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 08:34:45 -0600

Today would have been my Dad's 70th birthday.

Telephone trouble

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 06:58:39 -0500

Received via email

A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called --and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.

Upon arriving at the residence he climbed the utility pole, plugged in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's phone number.

This was written by a guy... Girls -- Have a sense of humor!

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 18:41:48 -0500

Received via email

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

Question....

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 21:12:19 -0500

Anyone had a nervous breakdown?

What are the symptoms?

Today is graduation!!

Sun, 11 Jun 2006 09:29:49 -0500

I finally graduate from college today with honors. It's been a long two years. The day is going to be very bittersweet.

I've had a minor melt-down today. I miss my dad so much and he was so looking forward to me graduating.

I know he's with me in spirit today. I just wish he was with me in person.

A For Real Sandwich !

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 08:11:24 -0600

Did you guys ever hear about the sandwich ‘La Coronario’? I first tried one down in Quetzaltenengo a few decades back. First you take two pieces of bread fry both sides with butter or lard (like a grilled cheese sandwich). Take two or three slabs of Kuroge beef from Japan (also fried in butter), a chop of mutton (remove the bones, of course), an entire chunk of foie gras and one leaf of lettuce and put these ontop of one of the slices. Add Limburger cheese and four table spoons of mayonaise. Sandwich between the other butter-soaked slice of bread. I’d also advise seasoning with a dash of parsley or oregeno—not too much, however, for they can be overwhelming flavors. This is a damn good sandwich. I lived on these for six months during my Tae Kwon Do training in Pusan a few years back.

Playboy Won't Pull Jessica Alba Issue

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 10:52:13 -0600

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Playboy won't pull its March issue over actress Jessica Alba's claim that she was made an unwitting cover girl to fool readers into thinking she is nude inside, the magazine said on Friday.

Iran Demands Apology Over Cartoons

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 21:51:03 -0600

TEHRAN, Iran (AP) -- Iran has rejected U.S. and Danish accusations that it has inflamed and encouraged violent protests over caricatures of Islam's Prophet Muhammed and demanded an apology, saying it could reduce growing tension.

Wed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600

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Wed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600

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Wed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600

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Pink Is For Girlies

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 11:41:09 -0600

Ranger Smith alerted me to this article.

IOWA CITY, Iowa - The hot-pink toilet seat covers imprinted with the Hawkeye football mascot sold out weeks ago. Gone, too, are the carnation-colored sun visors, the ladies' rose-toned underwear, the mauve-stained coffee cups and the salmon-tinted baby clothes.

But there are plenty of T-shirts for football fans in bubble-gum hues, with slogans such as "Locker Room Defense Fund" and "Give That Academia Nut Her Pink Slip."

Wed, 31 Dec 1969 18:00:00 -0600
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