I just received a phone call from my brother in Virginia. My neice, Misty, had a baby girl this morning, by C-section.

Mother and baby are doing fine. I'll have pictures via email in a few days.

Hopefully they'll also email me the weight, name, and measurements because I didn't write them down and I forget what they are.

This makes me a great-aunt for about the 12th time.

God I'm get

If by chance you should end up with a monster in your house, this little girl has some pretty good advice on what to do with it. Enjoy!

Can they figger out how the light turns on but never seem to be able to figger out how to turn it off.?

They can figger out how a door opens but never know how to shut it all the way.

They change clothes three or four times a day but never do a load of laundry.

After one old boar after another kept turning their snouts up at her, Wilma the Pig had a makeover -- and it turned her into a star.

She found a mate, had eight piglets and made a guest appearance on a television chat show in the UK hosted by Sharon Osbourne, the wife of rock star Ozzy.

OldGuy's favorite next-to-the-oldest kid turns 17 today.

Better save your spare change for bail money, boy. You're next!

OldGuy's favorite oldest kid, YoungPup, turns 20 today.

Better save your spare change for bail money, boy. Next year, we make history...

Two things bother me about this story:

1. I get my friggin' cereal from Battle Creek! Well, I think I do, anyway.
   
2. The crack(head) team of IWYA2 reporters missed this story?

A man who pleaded no contest to a sodomy charge involving a sheep says he should not have to register as a sex offender.

WTF?

Five years ago, Tranda Wecker made headlines around the world after being accused of selling her infant twin daughters over the Internet. Wecker, whose girls were later handed over to a foster family, hasn't seen them in three years.

However, she soon could be granted visitation rights for Kiara and Keyara, who are now 5.

Lovely.

Received via email.

I remember many of these things being said while I was growing up.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"