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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

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Sharp lady.

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to
a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

ALEXANDRIA, Va. -- The American Trucking Associations (ATA) will once again roll out its “phone home” campaign to help America’s truck drivers celebrate National Truck Driver Appreciation Week (NTDAW) August 20-26. ATA and its state affiliates will mark the celebration by handing out free 60-minute telephone calling cards to truck drivers at local weigh stations, rest stops, and travel plazas all across the country.

See? Even industry insiders don't get it. Show me a trucker who doesn't have a cell phone and I'll show you a trucker who left his cell phone in the truck. What truckers don't have is home time, layover pay, detention pay, adequate legal protection ... I could go on and on, but others before me have, and nobody listened to them either.

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Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

What does villager Bret McBain think about driving a Wal-Mart / Sam’s Club semi-truck ?

"It just doesn’t get any better than this," he said. He was talking both about his choice of career and the company he works for.

McBain, 38, ought to know — he’s been driving big trucks for 24 years. When he was 14 years old, he started hauling wheat in Cooley, Wash. At 18, he got his commercial driver’s license.