Are you unhappily married ever after?

I think they should be asking if you are "happily divorced" instead of "unhappily married."

Well, for those couples who are undergoing the often-painful process of divorce, here a one small way to bury your past: A tiny "coffin" to lay to rest your now-useless wedding rings.

2007: A biotechnology company in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, breeds cattle that are immune to mad cow disease. A relieved beef industry pours funding into the lab.

2008: Mad-cow-immune cows become the standard for livestock, but it is discovered that their prion-resistant brains have given them a primitive, sinister intelligence. Farmhand kickings, rodeo clown gorings and milkmaid stompings rise 400 percent. A few of the cows escape into the wild, making capture difficult. The government decides to sow biogenetically engineered grasses in their grazing areas, grasses that will release deadly spores into their systems.

Police arrested a Michigan man for acting upon (I would say his abnormal fetish but I don't think any fetishes are classified as normal) his fetish yet again.

Ronald Dotson, 39, of Detroit, was sentenced to 18 months to 30 years on charges of breaking and entering and being a habitual criminal.

WowWee's latest robotic creations, the RoboQuad, the RS Media and... a singing likeness of Elvis Presley... took the spotlight earlier today at CES Unveiled. Yeah, the singing Elvis sounds creepy, but check out the video to see just how creepy.

Video: WowWee's trio of robots

After one old boar after another kept turning their snouts up at her, Wilma the Pig had a makeover -- and it turned her into a star.

She found a mate, had eight piglets and made a guest appearance on a television chat show in the UK hosted by Sharon Osbourne, the wife of rock star Ozzy.

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the "Tickle Me Elmo" toys.

The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.

Received via email

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

MUSKEGON HEIGHTS, Michigan (AP) -- A woman who feared she would lose her boyfriend while she recuperated from surgery arranged for her 15-year-old daughter to have sex with him, authorities said.

Police said the three signed an agreement specifying the sexual services the girl would perform and the compensation she would receive, including clothing and body piercings. The 37-year-old man and the girl had sex about 20 times over two months, police said.

Those wacky Brits! Charity invites people to come to ‘masturbate-a-thon’
Reuters

Updated: 4:45 a.m. ET Aug 7, 2006
LONDON - Hundreds of Britons are being urged to attend what is being branded as Europe's first "masturbate-a-thon," a leading British reproductive health care charity said Friday.

Marie Stopes International, which is hosting the event with HIV/AIDS charity the Terrence Higgins Trust, said it expected up to 200 people to attend the sponsored masturbation session in Clerkenwell, central London, on Saturday.

BELGRADE, Serbia -- Doctors can't believe he ate the whole thing -- and then some.

Surgeons in western Serbia have removed nails, a knife, a pen, a screw, a spoon, and a clothespin from a young man's stomach.

One of the docs said the surgeons were astonished.

"We have seen people swallow various things, but never this many,'' said Dr. Maja Gulan, who helped perform the operation Monday in Uzice, 70 miles southwest of Belgrade.

Received via e-mail. Too funny. I had to share it.

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

Anyone had a nervous breakdown?

What are the symptoms?