I Was Your Age Twice - Idiots

Rant ON

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 16:38:33 -0500

OK, so I am totally pissed off about this and figure, hmmmm where else do I sound off with a good rant? Right here is the perfect medium for it, so here I go.

First of all, a little background on the problem. Last weekend my husband decided he was going to paint the inside of the garage. Cool. It was white, dirty and all scuffed up, so I was like "go for it". So he proceeds to do just that.

The problem with the so-called Justice system in the United States

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 14:46:22 -0500

WARNING!!!! This was submitted by a very pi$$ed person who used alot of foul language. don't read this unless you can take it.

I am absolutely furious!!!!!!!! As most of you know, my Dad died just over 11 months ago. In the time since he passed, my youngest brother has stolen thousands of dollars worth of items from my mother and either sold them, some items many times over; or, in the case of her van, let someone else drive it who then wrecked and totaled the vehicle.

Why

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 16:07:01 -0600

Can they figger out how the light turns on but never seem to be able to figger out how to turn it off.?

They can figger out how a door opens but never know how to shut it all the way.

They change clothes three or four times a day but never do a load of laundry.

Another Inconvenient Truth

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 18:11:22 -0600

Alternate title: "The Emperor Has No Sweater"

I heard a trucker ranting on the CB this week about former Vice President Al Gore's electric bill. When I started asking him about it, he said Gore's bill "was something like $20,000 a year." I started laughing and said bullshit. Nobody has a $20,000/year electric bill, right? Gore's fighting to reverse the effects of global warming, right? Turns out I owe that driver an apology. It was $29,268 for 2006.

Back home in Tennessee, safely ensconced in his suburban Nashville home, Vice President Al Gore is no doubt basking in the Oscar awarded to "An Inconvenient Truth," the documentary he inspired and in which he starred. But a local free-market think tank is trying to make that very home emblematic of what it deems Gore's environmental hypocrisy.

Armed with Gore's utility bills for the last two years, the Tennessee Center for Policy Research charged Monday that the gas and electric bills for the former vice president's 20-room home and pool house devoured nearly 221,000 kilowatt-hours in 2006, more than 20 times the national average of 10,656 kilowatt-hours.

McCain Taps Cash He Sought To Limit

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 09:40:17 -0600

In my neverending quest to prove that all politicians are idiots and most likely insane, I bring you this:

Just about a year and a half ago, Sen. John McCain went to court to try to curtail the influence of a group to which A. Jerrold Perenchio gave $9 million, saying it was trying to "evade and violate" new campaign laws with voter ads ahead of the midterm elections.

Got Wood?

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 13:13:14 -0600

Police arrested a Michigan man for acting upon (I would say his abnormal fetish but I don't think any fetishes are classified as normal) his fetish yet again.

Ronald Dotson, 39, of Detroit, was sentenced to 18 months to 30 years on charges of breaking and entering and being a habitual criminal.

Can You Say Zzzzzzzzzzzzzing?!?!?

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 13:02:02 -0600

A molecular scientist in North Carolina has come up with a new way to get caffeinated in the morning.

DURHAM. N.C. - That cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a Buzz Donut or a Buzzed Bagel? That's what Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, has come up with. Bohannon says he's developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter taste of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee.

Connecticut police under fire for DUI arrest contest

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 11:42:21 -0600

The Connecticut attorney general is considering a review of every DUI motor vehicle suspension in the state, thanks to a report that shows officers may have participated in a “100 Club” quota program.

According to the attorney general’s 168-page report, officers at the Bethany barracks three years ago took part in a game to issue 100 drunken driving arrests for the year.

Wilma finds mate and TV fame after makeover

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 13:12:51 -0500

After one old boar after another kept turning their snouts up at her, Wilma the Pig had a makeover -- and it turned her into a star.

She found a mate, had eight piglets and made a guest appearance on a television chat show in the UK hosted by Sharon Osbourne, the wife of rock star Ozzy.

Tickle Me Elmo

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 18:00:21 -0500

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the "Tickle Me Elmo" toys.

The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.

National Truck Driver Appreciation Week

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 12:57:44 -0500

ALEXANDRIA, Va. -- The American Trucking Associations (ATA) will once again roll out its “phone home” campaign to help America’s truck drivers celebrate National Truck Driver Appreciation Week (NTDAW) August 20-26. ATA and its state affiliates will mark the celebration by handing out free 60-minute telephone calling cards to truck drivers at local weigh stations, rest stops, and travel plazas all across the country.

See? Even industry insiders don't get it. Show me a trucker who doesn't have a cell phone and I'll show you a trucker who left his cell phone in the truck. What truckers don't have is home time, layover pay, detention pay, adequate legal protection ... I could go on and on, but others before me have, and nobody listened to them either.

Police: Mother gives daughter to boyfriend for sex

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 11:28:19 -0500

MUSKEGON HEIGHTS, Michigan (AP) -- A woman who feared she would lose her boyfriend while she recuperated from surgery arranged for her 15-year-old daughter to have sex with him, authorities said.

Police said the three signed an agreement specifying the sexual services the girl would perform and the compensation she would receive, including clothing and body piercings. The 37-year-old man and the girl had sex about 20 times over two months, police said.

No One Stops To Help

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 09:55:08 -0500

Police in Orlando, Fla., are searching for the drivers of three vehicles who ran over a pedestrian early Monday and did not stop to help, according to Local 6 News.

Investigators said the victim was first hit by the driver of a silver Dodge Durango on Orange Blossom Trail near Silver Star Road at around midnight.

"The impact left the victim's body in pieces," Local 6's Jacquie Sosa said.

While the man's body was in the street, two more cars ran over the man and no one stopped to help.

Doctors Find Nails, Knife, More In Man's Stomach

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 15:41:47 -0500

BELGRADE, Serbia -- Doctors can't believe he ate the whole thing -- and then some.

Surgeons in western Serbia have removed nails, a knife, a pen, a screw, a spoon, and a clothespin from a young man's stomach.

One of the docs said the surgeons were astonished.

"We have seen people swallow various things, but never this many,'' said Dr. Maja Gulan, who helped perform the operation Monday in Uzice, 70 miles southwest of Belgrade.

Soli's Joke of the Day

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 22:09:17 -0500

Received via E-mail

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.