OK, so I am totally pissed off about this and figure, hmmmm where else do I sound off with a good rant? Right here is the perfect medium for it, so here I go.

First of all, a little background on the problem. Last weekend my husband decided he was going to paint the inside of the garage. Cool. It was white, dirty and all scuffed up, so I was like "go for it". So he proceeds to do just that.

Next thing I know, my sister-in-law calls me on my cell phone and says:

SIL "What the hell is wrong with your home phone?"

Me: "Hmmmm no clue, but I'll have to check that out."

I check all of the phones, all dead. At this point husband walks in.

Me: "Honey, our phones are dead."

Hub: "I might have cut the phone line down, I thought it went to the old doorbell."

Cut to me, on the cell phone, calling our phone company to explain this one. First of all we use a rinky dink local phone service company and it is Saturday. You can't even talk to anyone there except for business hours M-F. Yippee. Monday is a holiday, so....have to wait 'til Tues. I am on the phone for fifteen solid minutes before anyone even picks up. Luckily for me, I get to talk to some woman from India. HEAVY Indian accent. (Hey of course, this is America, that's how we do it, outsource, much cheaper) I explain the problem to her. She says (or near as I can figure):

Miss India: "You husban cut fone line?"

Miss India: "We don't feex ourself, we send teekit to (major phone company), they feex."

At this point I realize that said rinky dink phone company subcontracts (major phone company) to do their repairs. Which it isn't even (major phone company) anymore, they have been taken over by (alternative major phone company). So.....we wait.

Pan three days ahead, Friday, today. The (major phone company) technician shows up around 3:30 today. My husband shows him where the line was in the garage. Rocket Scientist (major phone company) technician says:

RS: "Your problem is in the house."

RS: "Because that is a service order."

At this point, Hub is looking damn near ballistic.

Hub: "It is a service order?"

RS: "Yep, it's a whole different deal, you have to call your local phone service provider and get them to send me out on a service order."

Right now I am looking at this guy, shaking my head, and thinking: "And just what the fuck is it you are out here on today, wasn't that what the teekit was for?"

Hub: "So dude, what exactly did you come out for today? To tell me "hi"? Well "hi!".

RS: "Hi"

The guy LEAVES! So here we are, what do I do? Call Miss India back and TRY to figure out how to get the guy out here on a service order? I think friggin' NOT. Hub called the cable company, they are turning on our phone service shortly AND fixing the damn line for $40. Oh, and he actually talked to an American when he called them, or a damn close facsimile, he could understand him. Screw the rinky dink phone company, the major phone company, and ANY company that outsources their customer service to people so heavily accented I get a freakin' headache just trying to convey what the hell I am talking about, AND subcontracting your work to where neither side knows what the hell is going on. Have a nice fleepin' day ya idiots!