From an email:

So here I am at work listening to the whining of single bitches in my office piss and moan about not being able to find a nice single guy.

Off Topic Note: Every year this Valentines thing gets a little worse - it used to be you could get away with a box of chocolates, some flowers - now it's like Christmas.

Having been a nice guy and now having been hooked up for a while, Honey, I have a few words for you - WAKE THE FUCK UP!

If you are female, single and attractive the only reason you are single is YOU. YOU ARE THE FREAKING PROBLEM. Not the guy.

Here is a potential list of issues (you being the beast not withstanding):

1. Your standards are too high (ie. I want him to have a successful career, a nice body and NOT spend to much time at work). Hint: NOBODY IS EVER GOING TO MATCH THAT.

2. You are a closet lesbian and hate men. At least be bisexual so we can watch you get it on with your friend.

3. You are selfish and self centered.

4. You are high, high maintenance. Lots of average looking girls make themselves high maintenance. Here is a hint - unless you look like a freaking super model you need to get your attitude adjusted in a hurry. Then we will put up with your shit.

5. You have a condescending attitude toward men. You think we are all stupid. This man-bashing thing is prevalent nowadays. Here is another hint: men can always tell when women are like this. We all know that if you are like this when you are single, God only knows what your fucking mouth will be like when we are married.

6. To much emphasis on your career. Your career comes first and everything else second. Getting involved with a woman like this is like 2 corporations merging. If I wanted to be fucked up the ass every day I could just stay at work.

7. Gold digging. We all know that money is job #1 with lots of women when picking out men. Hint: if you knock most us out of the running than there are slim pickings left. Deal with the fact that we all aren't VP's at companies and have a Benz in the garage.

8. You have baggage or are bitter. Suddenly every man is responsible for the fact that YOU pick out bad men. Nobody told you to date the bad boys and than get fucked and chucked. You don't like being used and abused, well then don't date bad men. This is pretty simple. You got hurt, used, abused, whatever. Get over it and move the fuck on. Whatever you do, don't take out all your hostilities on us because of something someone else did.

9. You are a freak and are into some weird shit. I am not talking about bondage, anal or anything like that (we would welcome that). I am talking about that you are into witchcraft, crystals, new age bullshit, etc. Stop it and become normal.

10. You are spoiled and don't know the meaning of the word compromise. Here is a hint: you will have to compromise through most of life. Deal with it.

11. You suck in bed. The Italians have a saying "men want a whore in the bedroom and lady in the living room". This is the truth. We like women that like to fuck. Bottomline. Men are easily bored after hitting the same thing time and time again. They like variety and like to be entertained. So don't be shy about trying out things or telling us you want to do some funky shit.

Last thing, I hear lots of American women bitching about American men dating foreigners. You want to know why? Because YOU SUCK. You are a pain in the ass. Period. Foreign women are easy to deal with. Having dated Europeans and Latinas, they are infinitely easier to deal with than American women. They just accept you for being a man. I hear lots of women say foreign women are pushovers - its the furthest thing from the truth. Particularly the Italians and the Latinas - they will fight with you and are very vocal. They just don't have all this bullshit that you carry around with you.

And pasted at the top of my friend's email was this comment:

Marry them young and train them or date high school chics for as long as you can get away with it.

LOL!