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Do You Lift The Lid For Your Man?

Submitted by OldGuy on Wed, 2005-06-01 17:09.




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Do I lift the lid for my man?

Submitted by Clipper on Wed, 2005-06-01 17:05.

You have got to be out of your mind! I removed the lid years ago, and if he ever leaves the seat up again he will be sitting on the nice cold rim like I did! MEN!

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fired?

Submitted by Clipper on Thu, 2005-06-02 17:08.

You can't fire me from a non paying job with little if any benefits! puff on puffs

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From the toilet museum

Submitted by MrsOldGuy on Fri, 2005-06-03 18:46.

When the toilet is not in use, should the toilet seat be left up or down?

Not only do I think the toilet seat should be left DOWN, but the cover should be left down as well. After all, if you don't put the toilet cover down, what is it doing there to begin with?

The Toilet Museum FAQ

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Toilet water gives you potty mouth

Submitted by OldGuy on Sun, 2005-06-05 07:45.

That's the same reason I don't let the dog drink from my soda: backwash, and it tastes bad after they do it.

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"masogenist"

Submitted by LtScheisskopf on Fri, 2005-06-17 08:46.

Is that someone who works with corn genetics?
I think you meant misogynist

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Masochistic Plunger Operator

Submitted by OldGuy on Fri, 2005-06-17 11:11.

"masogenist"

Is that someone who works with corn genetics?

It is if you're in charge of the plunger at OldGuy's house!

"The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'."

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Which?

Submitted by OldGuy on Fri, 2005-06-17 20:08.

You talking about me or the plunger?

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No one thinks like OldGuy

Submitted by OldGuy on Fri, 2005-06-17 22:58.

That's a good thing, what with the overcrowding in the Institutes of Mental Health.

I didn't always try snappy comebacks. I used to try sappy comebacks, but then the women REALLY laughed. Especially Mrs. Old Guy. I suppose an example would illustrate my point:

Mrs. Old Guy: I'm pregnant, hot, and I need ice cream.
Mr. Old Guy: You'd look beautiful even in a dumpster.
Mrs. Old Guy: LOL! Get the f**k out!

"The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'."

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Trashy women

Submitted by OldGuy on Sat, 2005-06-18 10:34.

Yeah, an' I like my women just a little on the trashy side,
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick an' er too much rouge,
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused.
An' I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

"The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'."

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sit in the bar and sing

Submitted by OldGuy on Sat, 2005-06-18 10:43.

If you just sing that line repeatedly you'll have a date before the night's over.

"The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'."

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Depends how much cash you have left

Submitted by OldGuy on Sat, 2005-06-18 10:50.

If you've been at the bar long enough and you're broke, "you'll do" damn near anything you're asked.

Some of those women can really hold their licker, ba-boom-TISH!

"The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'."

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SICK PUPPIES

Submitted by Clipper on Tue, 2005-06-21 17:33.

You're all SICK...........there is help available........Clip and Snip at the vets comes to mind!

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Take a little off the top

Submitted by OldGuy on Tue, 2005-06-21 22:00.

That's what I asked for, so they shaved me. I won't be going back.

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Lids up, Seats up, even after all these years....

Submitted by barnkat on Sat, 2005-07-16 11:09.

I personally liked the seat and lid up, least I knew it wasn't going to be peed on.

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Bank shots work too

Submitted by OldGuy on Sat, 2005-07-16 15:39.

Bank shots work too.

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To Lid or Not to Lid!

Submitted by raspberri on Thu, 2005-09-15 12:33.

Kathleen Meyer wrote a funny little book titled "How to Shit in the Woods". An environmentally sound approach to a lost art.

Hey you Guys & Gals!! You want to get closer to nature..don't touch nothing till you read this little gem. This book is sure to get a chuckle out of the most civilized of people.....and most likely even those who are advocates of proper "Lid" protocol.

In days of old
When Knights were bold
And toilets wern't invented,
They left their load
Along the road
And walked off so contented.

Author Unknown

raspberri

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The most fun!

Submitted by OldGuy on Thu, 2005-09-15 16:32.

I've told all my kids that act is the most fun you can have outside with most of your clothes on!

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Drunk Dumping?

Submitted by Clipper on Thu, 2005-09-15 17:26.

Olf we know you can squat and pee while drunk, but can ya sqaut and dump while drunk too?

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gollygeewhiz

Submitted by turk on Thu, 2005-09-15 19:34.

wow! all this intellectual effort expended on a picture frame and breadboard.Could it be that this is the reason that the japanese-among others- rely on a fancy hole in the floor??

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Diddly squat

Submitted by OldGuy on Thu, 2005-09-15 20:52.

Clilpper, are you kidding? I can barely squat when sober.

And Turk, is it any wonder the Japanese education system is better than ours? I think it has something to do with this shit.

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Hole in the floor = Benjo

Submitted by zoovy on Sun, 2005-12-25 13:14.

At least the Japanese Benjo doesn't have a cover to leave up or down. It's more like an indoor outhouse but hole is in the floor. Hard for a woman to use and not get her clothes wet or dirty. Give me the old two holer any day. LOL

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Does the term...

Submitted by Solitaire on Mon, 2005-12-26 06:42.

PIG mean anything to ya?

LOL

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