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You Can't Sue For Broken Daddy Parts

Submitted by OldGuy on Sun, 2005-05-22 12:50. Idiots | Rant | Weird

I've seen it all this time! No, really. Seems this ... tool from Massachusetts had his (ahem) Daddy Parts fractured during a bedtop romp with his girlfriend.

Let that sink in for a minute ...

Yes, Dear Reader, I did say fractured. Despite having my legs crossed and suffering a dull ache in the pit of my stomach, I'm going to finish this rant. With only a straight face, John Doe sued Mary Moe for breaking his penis during a bout, no pun intended, of consensual sex.

"Your Honor, I'd like to enter Exhibits A-1 and A-2 into evidence, since they won't be entering anything else, har har har."

Just my $.02 USD worth, but doesn't the judicial branch of this country have better things to do than listen to this guy's sob story about Mr. Happy? What would the "reward" in this case be? Money? Viagra? A splint? Ten years of pubic service? Idiotic.

Agree? Disagree? Have your own opinion?

This ruling leaves lover more than broken hearted

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Apparently you CAN grow a new one, though!

Submitted by MrsOldGuy on Mon, 2005-05-23 08:49.

News of the Weird has the following story:


"Professor Mikhail Sokolshchik of Russia's National Medical Surgical Center performed a two-stage penile lengthening early this year on a 28-year-old virgin, adding 5 inches to what was an almost dysfunctionally small organ. Sokolshchik first removed the tip and stitched it onto the patient's forearm so that he could graft more tissue onto it (from elsewhere on the arm). After the tip lengthened, he reattached it to its proper place. According to an April dispatch from Moscow in London's Daily Telegraph, Sokolshchik is optimistic that all functions will be restored (though he said the man will probably be permanently semi-erect). [Daily Telegraph (London), 4-10-05]"

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dysfunctionally small organs

Submitted by OldGuy on Wed, 2005-06-01 12:15.

My dad used to play the organ. In a public church, no less. He was pretty good; he couldn't keep his hands off of it.

On a lighter note, if you have a penis attached to your forearm while you're taking Viagra, would your shirt rip like The Incredible Hulk's?

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Land of Opportunity

Submitted by OldGuy on Mon, 2005-06-06 20:38.

"They're gonna put me in the pitchers!"

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