Read it through to the end, it gets better as you go!

I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we
sing "Silent Night".
Age 5

I've learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli
either.
Age 7

I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they
stop what they are doing and wave back.
Age 9

I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it,

A cowboy from Texas hauling his horse in a trailer to a rodeo gets
pulled over by an Oklahoma State Trooper for speeding. The trooper
started to lecture the cowboy about his speeding, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the cowboy feel
uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket As he was
doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were persistently

An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing

home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if

there was anything wrong.

"Yes, Nurse Tracy ," said Mr. Goldstein, "My Private Part died today, and I

am very sad."

Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she

replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences."

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides
to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to
take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her
book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and
says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

Last week I purchased a burger and fries at McDonalds for $3.58.

The counter girl took my $4.00 and I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies. While looking at the screen on her register, I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this?

LIGHT AN ONLINE CANDLE

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you????

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is not hing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

Last night we went to a party at our local senior center.. The last Saturday of every month they have an evening potluck supper. We usually eat, play bingo, reminisce, and drink a little wine and talk about the good ole days....

We heard Selma Martin's grandson is staying with her for a few weeks. It's rumored he got in a scrap over some marijuana with the law out in Phoenix and he came to Denver to avoid the heat. Anyway, Selma is known for her delicious Brownies and she always bakes up a quadruple batch for each get-together. She makes enough for everyone and some for folks to take one home for later. For some reason they were extra good this week and every last one of them was eaten. Not a one left over. We later found out that Selma 's grandson, Butch, laced the brownies with some of his marijuana.

For all of you who frequent restaurants and understand the need for the service to be faster, this short story is a timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference to an organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but when another waiter brought our water and utensils I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.